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Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’

Hi guys,

If you had a look at my blog recently, you must be thinking, has this woman gone crazy?

From maryawrites to blogtherapy, to writinghappiness to maryawrites? AGAIN? (Sorry if you just subscribed in the past few days, this line shows the recent changes in my blog name- as you were.)

Allow me to explain …

I started my blogging journey writing as Marya Writes, here of course. I had no idea what I wanted to do and like most people I was drifting aimlessly. I knew only two things, I love to write and I love to learn.

I have been a corporate writer for a number of years, I have also taught Business Communication. While I (almost) knew I can write , I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it as a blogger. I still am not, but it doesn’t matter now. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I will keep going no matter. This is just the start of my online writing career – something that I have been passionate about for a long long time but wasn’t able to pursue because of some deeply personal family issues.

But now I can, and I am.

So I have moved to my own site known as Writing Happiness – Writing for Web.

What better way to build an online writing resource than to go through the whole process yourself? And write about it when you still can – remember that is.

I want to thank all of you for your amazing support and kindness that you have provided. But wait, this is not the end. I am just moving to another site heheheh

Please go to www.writinghappiness.com and subscribe there. I mean it, I don’t want to hear any excuses. Please! *puppy eyes”

Actually let me make it easier for you, to show you how important you – my dear reader – are to me. I will spend my weekend manually entering hundreds of email addresses on my new site. All you have to do it confirm when you get the message in your email. Just letting you know so you don’t freak out. It’s not spam – its Marya. :)

Or, you could save me some of the effort and subscribe there. In return, WHEN I become a hotshot, I’ll still remember you …hahahahah … corny? Well the biggest problem with that sentence, IF rather than When.

Anyway ….

That’s all I wanted to say today. Sorry I confused you with all the blog name changes. I have slightly modified my blog focus so I needed something to reflect that.

One more thing, I have just started my writinghappiness facebook page. Could you ‘like’ it? I promise not to stuff it with information. I am not big on social networking but there are some less than pleasant tasks that every writer must do right? Social marketing is one of them.

As this is an email – from a friend to another – I have not edited it all at. It has turned out longer than I thought, as I do tend to ramble in my emails. All errors are mine. (Actually I couldn’t resist doing the spell check). All the useless sentiment is mine too.

This is my last post here. See you at Writing Happiness. :)

Cheers!

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It is after 3 months that I am logging in to my blog. 

Yes, I am alive. 

Yes, I went away for an extended holiday to my homeland. Yes, I went with the full intention of logging in as soon as jet lag wore off. Sadly it didn’t happen for me like that, nothing like that all.  

When you click on anything - except your own blog.

I do not know what happened, except that I was literally in a different world. I was in a world where we have maids doing practically everything for us. We have chauffeurs for our cars, we have tons of help in the kitchen – and for everything else imaginable. And no, one doesn’t have to be a millionaire to have all this. In countries like Pakistan, labour is cheap, and is easily available, and rest of the country reaps the benefits. And then I had actually people to talk to – like living things – my gorgeous family members.

So I got lazy.

And this is an understatement! 

To be honest, I did not feel like writing even though this is one of the things I cannot image not doing – ever. I felt out of groove, out of touch with reality. Surely this few weeks at my mum’s house is not real. I did not want to wake up. It was sooo beautiful.

Needless to say, I got back home, to a world of work and chores and responsibilities – and only person to take care of it all. Me. 

My depression wouldn’t go away. I knew there were things to be taken care of. Even the thought of picking up a book – my most favourite activity in the whole world – sent my spiralling in a pool of tears. I was questioning if there was a purpose to it all. I was so sad. You have probably been there, I am sure this happens to all of us once in a while – one doesn’t need a long overdue wonderful visit from family to go through this. For me, this is all too familiar and it’s a cycle. I have to ride it out or it won’t go away. Mercifully, it does, every single time.

My lonely blog screaming for attention!

Are you still with me? Yes this post is all about me, and it’s most probably really boring as well. What the heck, it’s not like I have a professional blog right? I can choose to be a little self –indulgent eh? Plus, I did not know how else to start. After each exhausting day, I was lying down in bed thinking about what to write. After a long leave of absence, I just couldn’t start writing about ‘how to write a killer post’ or ‘six tips to feel good’ or something like that which I am sure are very worthy topics, but don’t seem like ideal ones to a slightly depressed mind. YAY for slightly!

I was scared to look at my blog, fearing all the fellow bloggers to have given up on me. This is a very scary feeling, its not been long since I have become a ‘blogger’ and its no fun without having supportive, kind fellow bloggers who actually take the time out to read but – comment. Hope you are reading this.

Blogging is hard

So… last night I thought, why not write exactly about how I feel. So, that’s precisely what I have done. Didn’t seem too hard. Now if I can only start participating in other blogs, add new bogs that I haven’t gotten to just yet, go back to researching and learning a hundred things to make my blog ‘better’, and pick up a book … I will be alright.

I am sure there are million other things that one does when one is blogging, but they all escape me right now. I am sure they will come to me in time.

Have you ever taken a break from your blog? Did you find it hard to start again? Do share, as I can so relate right now. And I do need the support.

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Ever wonder why some people get to be so happy? So far, I have established one thing, happiness is somehow tied to simplicity in life .. the simpler your life is, apparently the happier you are going to be.

I like to think that I am a fairly happy person. It might not have been the case just a year ago but in the last year alone, I have managed to rediscover my self. I was able to achieve all of my goals – and more. Through sheer hard work and determination, and with a positive approach to life.

I started my kids in a great school and daycare, got in my Post Grad diploma of Teaching in a highly prestigious university of my choice.

I changed house, bought new furniture along the way and topped it of with a new SUV a few days ago.

I started my blog that got great exposure when my Blogging Tips post made it to freshly pressed – for four days. YAY! I also got great readers and subscribers, who wouldn’t have found me otherwise. I also found great writers and bloggers to learn from. :) I got some work published on the web, a great start in the world of web writing.

I completed two teaching placements and one year (half) of my teaching degree. Phew! It’s hard to believe I actually survived.

After my parents’ visit from overseas, I am going for a holiday of about 6 weeks with my family. YAYYY :) Leaving on Jan 15, so get in your comments early. :)

So yes I have had a very good year. This brought on a sudden burst of inspiration to write something light-hearted on life and happiness, taking a break from blogging and writing advice. Psst .. it helped to read The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It by David Niven as well.

Here goes

My top tips that are helping me to lead a truly happy life.

Have a Purpose and Meaning in your Life

Set goals in your life and make sure they are in perfect harmony with each other. They are life tyres of your car, they must move in the same direction. If they conflict with each other, you will end up being very stressed out and dissatisfied with your life. 

Invest in Friendships

Life without close, meaningful relationships is meaningless.

You do not have to be a social butterfly, however true friends will make you come alive. Take care of your friends and reap the rewards of belonging.

Friendship beats money, hands down. Tell your friends what they mean to you and make their day, as well as yours. Keep your word. 

A happy life

It Hurts to Compare with Unrealistic Standards

Think of those whose examples are worthy but make sure you stay true to yourself. 

Have realistic expectations. You are a person, not a stereotype. Be comfortable in your own skin.

Be grateful that you are fortunate than many. Accept yourself. Believe in yourself – Just not too much.

Ask for help when you need it and share your problems with your mates.

Every relationship is different, don’t compare yours with your friend’s.

Let your goals evolve or you will get seriously hurt. Do the things you are good at. Money is not the end to all problems. 

Turn off the TV

Excessive tv watching takes you away from life. Your partners and kids literally need to shout to be heard. It makes you lazy and makes you take your relationships for granted. Do not take tv’s view of the world, the picture is tainted. 

Be Open to New Experiences

Life-long learning is the key to life long fun. Get a hobby, be it dance, cooking class, new form of exercise or some course at the university; try something new to stay young and fresh. Volunteer your time in your community. Join a group. Have fun. 

If You are Not Sure, Guess Positively

If somebody is being nice, do they have an agenda or are they a nice person? Are you the type of person who stays positive, or assumes the worst? Try banishing this self-defeating habit and see the profound effect on your life. Check  out positivity blog’s 5 powerful questions that can help make 2011 a fantastic year for you.

Be Happy

Develop a Household Routine

If your life is all over the place, you will dread waking up in the morning. You will be harried, rushed and overly stressed trying to manage your average day. Surround yourself with beautiful things and wonderful smells. Enjoy the ordinary. 

Get a Good Night Sleep

Works wonders. Exercise and get physically active. Its nothing like feeling your best throughout the day. 

Keep Your Family Close

Develop shared interests with your loved ones. 

Be Thankful

Pay attention to your life, you might already have that you really need.

Your definition of success has to be your own. Remember to think good, your life is a success based on your judgement only. Keep perspective, maintain integrity.

  2010 was my happiness project, check out Gretchen Rubin’s site for her book in which she documented her year long happiness project. What has made you particularly happy with yourself the past year? Any major goals, any outstanding achievements? Please share. What are your best tips for being happy?

If you want to get the best of books on; writing, blogging, publishing, personal growth, inspiration, women issues and more, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog & keep talking in comments section. Looking forward to knowing you more. Many thanks. :)

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Free Writing Day

My husband wants to know what I want for my birthday. Actually that’s not my husband, my kids want to know so they can get their dad to buy it, even when the birthday has already passed. I have trained my kids well. 

The answer is a bit of a problem.

I am not a stuff person – stuff stresses me out. I believe most things are made to be admired, and NOT to be purchased and taken home. My philosophy is to live with the bare minimum in my house – with the exception of few things. 

I am not a collector. I hate wasting things so I try and buy things that I would actually use. For a girl, I have the bare minimum of clothes, shoes, handbags and cosmetics. This is not a joke. I seriously need to add to my wardrobe. Since I am not working out of the house at the moment, most of my clothes are on the brink of being ripped to shreds. 

I am not a jewellery person, or a toy-purchasing person either – much to chagrin of my kids. 

I am a book person though. My kids’ bookshelf is overflowing with picture books and my next house project is to line the wall behind the dining table with tall bookshelves. These will be eventually filled with photo frames, perfumes, and books of course. This can happen after I replace my dining table first, of which only 3 chairs remain. 

I collected perfumes. I figure these would look really cool on the display. 

So I have thought long and hard about for my next birthday gift. And I have got the perfect answer. I would like my husband to give me a Coupon for a Free Day of Writing – to be used on any day of my choice. 

I have a few ideas how this might happen. 

My most favourite activity - after rearing my kids of course!!

I would like breakfast served in bed, and while I am relaxing, my kids need to get dressed, their lunches packed and they are taken to their respective school/ daycare. Or hubby can take a day off and take the kids somewhere for the day. I write best in my home environment, that’s where I have home court advantage. 

I want a cleaner to come in and do their thing, while I do mine. 

I want to have lunch and snacks available for whenever I feel like eating. 

I want the kids to come home, get changed, have food and be entertained till 5 o clock. After that I am ready to resume mommy duties – whichever ones are left anyway.

On this day, I am not working (writing) 9-7, or even 9 to 6. Although my usual working day comprises of a 16 hours – at minimum – I would like to work from only 9 to 5. I am thoughtful like that. 

And I want this to be a Groundhog Day.

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Is it wrong of me to not read Harry Potter? Not now, not ever. It’s not like I am required to read and write a book report on it, but you know, being a readaholic and all, maybe I should? People are actually quiet surprised to hear that I have not read any. What can I say, never saw any magic. 

Kitty got taste.

It’s very hard for me to pick up books that have been extremely hyped up. For this reason alone, Harry Potter never interested me enough when it first came out, like a hundred years ago. Also since when did books like these – books meant for ‘young adults’ become very fashionable for over 18’s. Curious incident of the dog in the night-time and The book thief are two other ones that immediately come to mind. Considering that I have finally gotten around to reading the latter, five years after its release, I am doing extremely well. 

It’s also hard to pick up books so late that even their moves have come out. I read Bridget Jones’s books only this year, tried to read Julie & Julia and read Lord of the rings trilogy after I saw the movies innumerable times. (Loved it, hated it, loved them, in that order). When you see a movie after the book, you know most probably you will end up hating the movie, but it’s a dilemma when it’s the other way round. You don’t know to feel cheated if the book turned out crap or relieved that the movie didn’t. Still haven’t read Confessions of a shopaholic, the movie is cute (on a 17 hour flight to US), the writing is not. 

Cannot end this post without bringing my significant other into it. He has never read a book in his life – not to my knowledge. Allow me to correct this gross exaggeration by saying that he has indeed read many books, many Harry Potter books. This is more than enough reading to last him for his lifetime. What can you do, some people read, other people like to point at them and laugh. To be perfectly honest, I did try picking up one, it was so heavy.

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It’s not easy being a Mum.

How do I tell my kids to sit at the table for food while I snack walking around all day long?

How do I tell my kids to eat their pizza/bread crusts when I leave mine behind? It’s not very easy mind you, I have to go to ridiculous lengths to accomplish that feat.

Who left these behind?

How do I ask them not to leave the house looking like kids wo don’t have anybody looking after them when I don’t brush my hair for two days straight.

How do I tell them to put their clothes away when sometimes mine are lying in a big leap in my room.

Don't look like my kids clothes

How do I ask them to go outside and play when my most serious exercise is chasing them around the house.

How do I ask them not to play games on the computer all day long when I am found glued to my laptop every chance I get.

How do I ask them to share nicely when I hide my good chocolate to be enjoyed alone.

How do I ask them not to shout when I have long screaming matches with my husband, back n forth, back n forth – like a long drawn out tennis match.

and lastly, how do I ask them to do their homework when I am blowing off mine.

It’s not easy being a mum. Agreed? Fess up!

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Losing My Mind

I was without my laptop today, and thus unable to access internet. You cannot imagine the disorientation I have been feeling, all day long. I did prepare for this day. My loyal computer has been giving me the SMART warning that something had gone terribly wrong with my hard drive and that I need to back up my data and fast. I couldn’t do it fast enough, dropping everything in a flash. And still, it had to be replaced today. This feels roughly like the time when you bring your baby home, except your baby is 9 years old and you don’t want to do that ALL OVER AGAIN. No thats very much, you’ll pass. You have worked soooo hard to arrive where you, and your 9 year old baby are today. No wonder it feels like I have lost a part of me.

What this means is this. I cannot access my bookmarks without which I cannot function. Literally. Not gazing lovingly at my favourites, all snuggly on the menu bar, placed strategically at eye level. Click, click, click. Check email, facebook, news…. oh no, I can’t. I can barely remember what is it that I do on internet everyday.

To make matters worse, hubby as come home today with a case of instantaneous headache so much so that he is not doing his all time fav activity- watching telly and has decided to take a nap instead. After pathetic begging of two hours, still he is not budging. Current status: computer working, no software installed, hubby napping, kids doing God knows what & me, tearing my hair out. Somebody important could be sending me an email right now.

I cannot post as all my ideas are on a little file that is sitting safely on the portable drive.

I cannot access my to-do list. Neither can I work on my last assignment today for this term. Oh well, at least something good came out of this.

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